Tracy phoned on her way home from work today and, though it wasn't her intention, made me feel like a failure. I know it is my own conceptions of how this new arrangement is supposed to work that makes it feel this way and I'm responsible for my own emotional reactions but it is hard to deal with.
Shea didn't sleep very well last night and Tracy was up most of the night with her. She breastfeeds Shea at night and so I can't really support her and take the baby from her although I really want to do so. It is such a frustrating predicament. She needs her sleep in order to feel well and I can see her becoming more and more run down with everything that is going on. I am trying my best but I too am tired and I too have a tight schedule but again I come back to the thought that I am somehow failing her in supporting her.
Another thing to work on in the future.
Meanwhile, I am sitting here in the library and I'm supposed to be working on writing and it is so hard to remain focused with all of these things floating around in my head: Tracy, Shea, the move, the new semester. I'm fighting against fatigue myself and wondering, again, if I'm succeeding at anything I'm setting my mind to right now.
The white page is glaring at me like an accusing eye and I'm frozen in its gaze. I just have to remember, one word after another. Keep going...
Monday, June 11, 2007
Monday, June 4, 2007
Neeeeeeeext!
So, just when I think things are going to slow down and I will be able to catch my breath, I'm confronted with a new life event that turns everything on its ear. I'm probably moving. Not only am I moving but I'm selling my house before I have somewhere else to go. I know, it's insane.
A nice man, a neighbor of my in-laws, is getting separated from his wife and has always loved our house and wants to buy it. We need a little more space and wouldn't have to go through the rigmarole of staging a house, attending to all the minute details, not to mention Realtors, so we have decided to sell. Now, we are looking for a place that has a little more room and still offers a large lot for the dog and for our own piece of mind. It's a hard combination to find on our budget.
So, my wife and I have been driving all over hell in back, looking at properties, stressing each other out, criticizing each others driving, behavior and all around personalities in an effort to find the next great place. We shall see how we do. So, as the final page of one chapter turns to a close, I find the next chapter has a car chase! Hold on to your pants there beloved friends and blog readers. It's going to be a bumpy ride for the next couple of weeks.
A nice man, a neighbor of my in-laws, is getting separated from his wife and has always loved our house and wants to buy it. We need a little more space and wouldn't have to go through the rigmarole of staging a house, attending to all the minute details, not to mention Realtors, so we have decided to sell. Now, we are looking for a place that has a little more room and still offers a large lot for the dog and for our own piece of mind. It's a hard combination to find on our budget.
So, my wife and I have been driving all over hell in back, looking at properties, stressing each other out, criticizing each others driving, behavior and all around personalities in an effort to find the next great place. We shall see how we do. So, as the final page of one chapter turns to a close, I find the next chapter has a car chase! Hold on to your pants there beloved friends and blog readers. It's going to be a bumpy ride for the next couple of weeks.
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