Brother Notes: Kerry's Leaving on a Jet Plane!

My brother Kerry recently got a promotion that is relocating him to Central Oregon.  While it is a mere three hours away, this is a big move for our family.  Everyone in our family has such a busy schedule already, and a three hour commute provides some specific challenges in terms of how often we are going to see him.  As such, I thought I would take a moment to describe some of my favorite Kerry moments.

1. His Dancing:

If you have never had the opportunity to see my brother dance, then you are missing out on one of the most fundamentally joyful experiences life has to offer.  For a while there was even a dance named after him.  It was called "The Bear," and anyone who knew Kerry from high school until know is probably familiar with it.  Put your hands side by side out in front of you, but still above your head, and move them in small circles while convulsing your butt like you're having a seizure.  This is the move.  That's it.  End of moves.

My brother and my sister-in-law at their wedding.  Breaking it DOWN!

While the photo isn't an exact replica of "The Bear," it gives you a fairly close approximation.  When my brother dances, I can't help but feel that all is well in the world.

2. His Intensity:

To experience my brother's intensity, all one needs to do is attend a sporting event with him.  If said sporting event could feature the Oregon Ducks or the Boston Red Sox, then you are almost assured of seeing what I'm about to describe.

My brother is the one in the front and center.  Creepy eyes! Photo courtesy of Robin Miller

My brother loves his teams so much that he lives vicariously through them.  Their successes are his, and their losses are also his.  When a good play goes down and my brother starts slapping together those giant ham hocks for hands he's got, then you are sure to experience the thundering echo that serves as his round of applause.  Beware!  You don't want to be too near him when this phenomenon occurs for you might experience the telltale ringing in your ears that represents hearing loss.

The ham hocks in motion.  Photo courtesy of Amanda Rice.

To say my brother wears his heart on his sleeve is an understatement.  His passion for his sports teams cannot be contained, and this is, mostly, simply a symptom of how he lives his life more broadly.  My brother is a wunderkind of intensity.  He works hard, he plays hard, he loves hard, and his is one of the most intensely loyal people you will ever meet.

Kerry and Amy at Fenway Park.  Photo courtesy of Amy Lang.

It is one of his most endearing qualities.  If you don't want a friend for life, then don't make friends with my brother.  He's not a fickle man.  He's an in-it-to-win-it kind of guy, an all-in type of player, and even if he loses here and there on the gamble of a new friend, he's always willing to turn around and do it again.  That level of belief in the fundamental goodness of others is something we could all emulate a little bit.  My brother shoots straight, tells it like it is, and assumes that others will do the same for him.  For some, it is a little bit too intense, for others, it's just right, and they can immediately see the value in having someone like Kerry in their lives.

3. His Sense of Humor:

This portion of the post is best represented through pictures:

Kerry as Beyonce ala "Single Ladies"? Photo courtesy of Robin Miller.

Big kid failing his "sexy chair" test.

About a second away from a spit take! Photo courtesy of Kent Hawes.

3D Nerds at Home. Photo courtesy of Robin Miller.

4. His Calming Influence on Me

My brother, even when he is picking on me, is a calming effect in my life.  He reminds me of who I am, where I come from, and how I'll always have an ally in any fight I'm passionate enough to join.  Even when I haven't seen him for a long time (which happens more than I like to admit), we usually fall back into our same old patterns pretty quickly, and there is a deep and soulful peace that comes from that.

My brother has a bad habit of sticking his finger toward my eye and waggling it around with the required, "I'm not touching you."  He does more often than is probably appropriate for a middle-aged man (yes, Kerry, it's true), and although I roll my eyes and sigh with frustration at him, I know that this simple gesture is a loving one.  It may be that the gesture is loving because he "loves" to get a rise out of me, but that's only because it is nice to get your loved ones riled up.  It's nice to know that you still have an effect on them, even as I approach his current middle-aged status (Not there yet!).

I'm going to miss my brother, even in this day of constant electronic contact.  A finger-waggling "I'm not touching you" over Skype just isn't the same thing.  While I love Central Oregon and will work hard to get over there as much as possible, there will be an absence in the valley now that he's taking his thunderous clapping ham hocks over the Cascades.

I'll miss you, Kerry, but I'll see you soon.