Writer's Note: I Really Am Thick

I am so thick it is laughable.  Honestly, if it didn't cause me so much pain, I'd laugh too.  In fact, when I finally am able to learn something, I often do laugh at myself.  I am so consistently wrong that it amazes me that I still often think I am right.

Where is this coming from?  

You have "The Incredible Jessica James" to blame.  

I watched this movie tonight, which is about a playwright in NYC, and there is a scene in the movie that just blew my mind tonight.  The problem is that it is so simple that I felt like an idiot when I had my AHA moment.  

The premise for the scene is this:

Jessica meets her longtime playwright idol at a weekend retreat.  Before introducing herself by name, she gushes over the artist.  When the artist finally gets her calmed down, Jessica asks her a question, a sincere question, a question that many artists wonder about/ask.  

"When do you know you've made it?"

The playwright replies, "I'll let you know when I get the memo."

Jessica replies, "But you won a Tony..."

After a short give or take, the playwright gestures around to signify the weekend retreat they are on, and she says, "Isn't that what we're doing this weekend?"

For me, my heart finally broke of many of these crazy illusions about success, the writing life, etc.  I just...stopped.  It was so simple.  It was so easy.  I couldn't believe how thick I had been.  

As I sit here and write this post, I'm a writer.  I've arrived.  I'm here doing the work, and that's it.  I enjoy being able to write in my own voice to an audience.  That's it.  That's the pleasure.  Everything else is...everything else.  

P.S.  I enjoyed "The Incredible Jessica James".  Jessica Williams is just about as charming as they come.  Thank you, Jim Strouse for your body of incredible work.  I have just now realized how much I enjoy his films.  Check out his IMDB profile here.