Man Notes: Former NFL Lineman Joe Ehrmann

I'm fascinated by the idea of modern masculinity.  The idea appears again and again in this blog, but it also appears repeatedly in my fiction.  Even when I'm working through an idea that is, at least on the surface, not about this theme, it finds a way to exist in between the lines of my creative work.

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On my way home yesterday, I had the pleasure of listening to an interview with Joe Ehrmann, former defensive lineman for the Colts.  He had some fascinating views about masculinity, sports, and spirituality.  The interview began with a quick mention of the three words most men have encountered throughout their lives, "Be a man."  These words, while often used as a way of trying to salve, or suppress, an emotional moment, often find a way to lock men into a box.

The interview quickly expanded to include three lies of masculinity: "athletic ability, sexual conquest, and economic success."  He goes on to talk about how culture sends messages to men about these three categories of life and prioritizes them in destructive ways, especially in the modern era of social media and internet and access.  He speaks about the dearth of "moral clarity and moral courage" and links this back to the Steubenville rape case.  While I assume he understands and deplores the heinous nature of the crime, he expands his analysis of the situation to include the people not directly connected to the crime that occurred that night, but to those complicit in either covering up or advancing the scope of the crime through the sharing of pictures and tweets in the case.  He points to these actions and, rightfully, attaches them to a lack of "moral clarity and moral courage" in the larger community.

When asked directly about what masculinity is, he responds by saying, "It can only be defined by two things.  One, it is your capacity to love and to be loved.  Masculinity ought to be defined in terms of relationships.  Second thing it ought to be defined by commitment to a cause.  That all of us have a responsibility to give back, to make the world more fair, more just, more hospitable for every human being."

This interview brought me an overabundance of comfort for many reasons.  The first is that I wholeheartedly believe in Ehrmann's message.  The second is that Ehrmann speaks with real credibility for men who have a predisposition to the "lies" he mentioned earlier, specifically to the lies of athletic ability and economic success.  I'm always seeking role models in the world, men who stand as positive forces within the world and actively demonstrate the full spectrum of what it means to be a man.

At times, media feels like a cyclops, a singularly-visioned creature that can't see in dimension, in depth.  I applaud NPR, All Things Considered, and Joe Ehrmann for putting this discussion out into the world.  At the end of a long work day and after allowing the interview to wash over me, I felt affirmed and contemplative in all the best sense of the word.  Media reflected something back to me that felt authentic and sincere, which is too infrequently the case.

The discussion is happening out there.  We just need to find it.  I realize now that All Things Considered is doing an entire series on Men in America, and I can't wait to catch up on streaming segments that will, hopefully, allow me to hear a spectrum of voices on the subject of modern masculinity.  A good song possesses more than one note, and a discussion of a complex topic like this requires a range of notes, a choir of voices, in order to bring the richness and vibrancy it demands out into the world.

Again, thanks to all the contributors and producers for making this happen.  If Joe Ehrmann intrigues you, you might think about picking up his book.

Promise-ary Note: Kyle "Falls" into Personal Time

The last promise I drew was to find 3 hours to spend with myself.  It's hard as a father, husband, teacher, and bartender to carve out these little niches of time, so I had to drop everything on Tuesday and rush out of the house in order to get it in.  This meant leaving stacks of grading left ungraded in my bag and rushing out in order to be back in time to get my daughter, but I got it done.

Thanks to a little help from the internet, I was able to find a hike that suited my time frame. I wanted to get out of town, to explore a section of Oregon I had never encountered before, to scout a hike my wife and I could do alongside our daughter, and I found it in Wahclella Falls just outside of Cascade Locks.  Portlandhikersfieldguide.org provides a nice write up of the trail, so I knew what I was getting into. 

It'd been a long time since I'd gone to the Columbia Gorge, either through traveling through it or to explore it, so when the Gorge opened up in front of me past Troutdale, I made sure to soak in scene as I drove.  Some of you might remember my earlier post about my love affair with driving.  I decided to use my block of time to satiate my desire for the road, for open air, for new vistas, and the Gorge did not disappoint.  It was a beautiful sunny day, and I was hellbent on using it.

Just short of Cascade Lakes is Bonneville Dam.  From Highway 84 eastbound, one simply needs to take this exit (Exit 40) and drive south of the freeway.  The road splits east and west, and a sign points the westward way to Wahclella.  The trail is an easy one, one mile in and one mile out in a lollipop formation.  While there is a rise in elevation on the trail, it isn't anything too extreme.  

Since I was pushing time, I huffed it down the trail, quickly working up a sweat once I hit the inclines.  As it was a Tuesday, the trail was almost completely deserted, only a few families and couples appeared along the way.

I don't know what it is about waterfalls, but I'm drawn to them and the landscapes they create.  There is something about the mix of elements that immediately appeals to me.  The intersection of water misting the air in its descent elevates my spirit as I breathe deep the cascading rumble like the sustenance of sound.  As water crashes into earth, my imagination drives forward like an elemental force, and I find inspiration in the violent energies unleashed in the collision.

While I took a lot of pictures of the falls while I was there, I made sure to leave the electronics alone and to perch myself upon a rock inside the plume of mist.  This communion with nature felt like a baptism, a dip into a holy fount.  I reveled in the strain of the hike as I settled into a melting pleasure of idleness.  The goal having been achieved, I rested and I rested well.

Oregon is full of magical nooks and crannies that can transport us outside ourselves while centering us inside ourselves.  Positioning oneself inside external majesty is a great way to provide the essential insignificance of a life.  I find it important to remind myself of my own immateriality, to beat back my ego, and to remind myself that I am small in all the best ways possible.  

We all occupy the space of our own lives, sometimes even eclipsing the lives of those around us, but encounters with the wider, even wilder, world serve as a sometimes gentle reminder that we are not as important as we think we are.

All in all, the trip was a success.  I spent the drive home blasting the radio, driving with the window down, and recounting the multiple ways my life is a blessing.  Not a bad way to spend three hours if I do say so myself.

The next promise I pulled is also an exercise is getting outside myself.