Circular Living

I live in a circular pattern. Last night, my wife and I went to a birthday party for a friend who is getting separated from his wife. They are still keeping up appearances: hosting the party at their home, both in attendance. But it is quickly obvious that they are on the outs. There are separate activities planned for the guests, each one led by one of the couple - guys on motorcycles, girls wine tasting. Well, I shouldn't say that because I have neither a motorcycle, nor all the equipment, so I am left in the house with all of the women.

I have a terrible habit of getting a couple of cocktails in me and wanting to talk to my wife about the nature of our relationship. Last night was no exception. As we drove home (the party was an hour away from our home), I bring up our methods of communication, a subject that has been well worn, even in the last couple of weeks. It is something I think about...a lot. It is not something that my wife dwells on. She believes me to be too much of a thinker, that I do not allow myself the joys of life because I ask questions about what things mean, their implications.

I think part of this has to do with dedicating myself to the writing life. I have to ask what actions mean. I have to know why characters communicate in the way that they do. It is not a subject that is entirely fascinating to my wife. And that's fair, right? She doesn't have to ask the same questions I do, right? She doesn't need to dwell on the interpersonal relationships of failed couples, happy strangers, or odd looking vagabonds. I need to cut her some slack.

It's hard to put the thinking cap away. It's hard to stop myself from diving into the world of personal motivations and private conflicts. So, yes, I do have a point when I say to her that there is always room for improvement and it is good to talk about how we communicate. But does the conversation ALWAYS have to be about elevating our relationships and our souls to a greater plateau. Sometimes fart jokes are funny.