Hey, you, out there in the cold...

"Hello, Blank Page."

Oh, hello.

"Is something wrong?"

No.  I'm fine.

"Oh yeah?  You don't sound fine."

No, it's nothing.

"I've heard nothing before and that's not it.  You have to remember...I'm married.  I can tell a loaded nothing."

Well, fine.  It's not nothing.

"What is it then?"


Where the hell have you been?!

"Oh, yeah, that.  Well, I've been really busy."

Too busy for me is what you mean.

"I guess you could say that."

I still see you working hard for your students, spending time with your wife, your kid.  But what about me?  What about Old Blank Page?  You're all over me when you're in the mood, but what about my needs, huh?

"I know.  I've been insensitive."

You've been an ass is what you've been.  You call yourself a writer?  A writer pays a little attention to the blank page every now and again.  A REAL writer would know how to satisfy Blank Page.

"Let's not get hostile now."

Oh, you haven't even begun to see hostile, Writer's Block.

"I don't have writer's block.  I've just been busy.  What about my needs, huh?  Am I always supposed to live in support of the story?  Did you know that my brother got married?"

No.  No, I didn't.

"I wrote his ceremony.  Does that count?  Or does it always have to be fiction?"

I don't care what it is as long as you fill me up.

"Well, then, don't act so needy all the time."

Can you blame me?  I'm a blank page.  I'm yearning for a little expression here.

"What if I transcribed this conversation?  Would that count?"

Words are words, writer man.  I don't care what they are as along as you visit me every now and again.  I get lonely, ya know?

"I know.  I miss you too.  We good?"


We're good.