The Light

The days are growing longer.  I've been waiting for these long warm evenings for weeks now.  I'm toward the end of longest sustained working "sprint" I've ever done.  Four classes, training for and developing an online class, participating in my brother's wedding and all the events, writing the ceremony and a speech, plus grading stacks upon stacks of papers has left me drained.  The rainy winter months haven't done much to improve that situation.

I'm a hard worker.  I don't think even I can deny that one, but I'm exhausted.  I have all the energy in the world to go out and mow my grass, to weed the beds, to play, to see friends, to toss one back, to have "a life" as my students call it, but I'm work exhausted. 

My brother's wedding reminded me of this fact.  While writing the ceremony for him and my lovely new sister-in-law, I wrote about how a marriage can sink if one believes that physical presence is the same as emotional presence.  Well, I've been here every night.  I've been a body in my home, but I've been so wrought with distractions that I wonder if I've been much more than a physical body. 

It is time to rebuild the intimacy.  It's time to be a person, available, present and listening in my own household.  I have two stacks of papers  between me and a little more free time.  I have a working day tomorrow that doesn't involve a commute.  If I hammer down, I can get through the stacks and free myself up for some real quality time with my wife and daughter. 

God bless the light.  I want to go outside and enjoy it.  I simply want to make sure my wife's hand is in mine as I cross that threshold into play.