Turning It All Off and Cleaning It All Out

Christmas break has been a welcome reprieve for my family and I.  Tracy took some days off, I didn't have to work, and Shea spent all her time with us.  It was a wonderful holiday.  While we did do the family gatherings, the gift-giving, the holiday dinners, etc, the best part of the whole week was the days that followed.

Tracy, Shea and I basically hunkered down in the house and simply rested, played, and enjoyed each other's company.  I spent almost no time on email or any other electronic media.  We played with all of Shea's new toys, and simply enjoyed our time together as a family.

By the end of the third day or so, I got the itch to clean.  The cleaning started simply as putting the boxes away, putting new clothes away in the closet, but it quickly escalated into filing all of my comics into their polybags with cardboard backs and slotting them into their proper longboxes.  From there, it meant cleaning out all of the cupboards in the office.  From the cupboards, it moved into my closet, my dresser, the downstairs closets, Shea's, etc.

Tracy, Shea, and I wound up putting together almost six bags of things for donation.  We filled up our recycle bin, our garbage, and a couple of other bags that will have to wait until next week's pickup.  There are cupboards in my house that are empty, organized, clean.  My office is organized, books are put away on proper bookshelves, and by desk is ready for use.

I am ready to start the new year in this new space.  I think back to Madeline DeFrees and her craft talk at the Pacific MFA.  She told us how she knew a creative spurt was coming on, the formation of a poem, when she began "clearing the decks."  Clutter can be a physical situation, but it can also extend its reach into the mental landscape.  I'm hoping I've made some space here.

6 Literary Holiday Gifts

As folks prepare for the holiday season, I hope they will consider giving the gift of books.  A book can say so much to the recipient.  It says I love you enough to challenge you.  It says I want to give you the gift of relaxation, of time, of an hour to yourself.  Books transport us to another place and allow us to learn about people who are unlike us.  It broadens the mind and inspires us to do things beyond ourselves.  Here are a few of the books I've loved over the past year and beyond.

1.  Flashes of War by Katey Schultz

This collection of short stories and short-short flash fiction stories gives a glimpse inside modern warfare.  While it may not feel like the kind of sentimental literary gift that screams Christmas, it is a great book for the man in your life, or the reluctant reader.  The flash fiction pieces can be read in a single sitting, even on the "throne."  The person will be transported to places they can barely imagine, into lives we all can relate to, and into landscapes we all must pay attention to in this modern time.

2. The Magicians by Lev Grossman

This book is perfect for anyone who loved C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia series when they were a child.  Grossman has created a world of magic that feels more timely, grittier, and more adult than the Narnia books.  While it is billed as a coming of age story, it is much more than that.  It is a book about finding purpose in a life.

3.  Saga Volume 1 by Brian K. Vaughan and Fiona Staples

This genre-bending title is adults only.  It's perfect for the sci-fi nut in your house.  If you know someone who can quote lines from Star Wars or Star Trek, then this is the title for him.  It's a sweeping galactic narrative, but it is also a family tale full of rich characters and wonderful artwork.  It alternates between the humorous and the serious, so it never grows stale.

4. Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor

I picked up this title during the summer when I was on the search for "brain candy."  The search for light literature that would transport me to another world led me to Laini Taylor.  I had heard of the title via a senior thesis student at Pacific University.  After reading a critical essay about the title, I thought I should see what the original was all about.  What a pleasant surprise!  While this first book is very much a paranormal romance, the world Taylor has created is rich, rich, rich, and the sequel builds upon this and moves beyond the straight romance of the first book.

5. Peace Like a River by Leif Enger

Literary fiction as it should be.  Enger's book is a fascinating look at a good family in bad circumstances.  His portrayal of Reuben Land, the 11-year-old narrator, is breathtaking.  I never once doubted the perspective of the novel.  If you are looking for a family story, a father-son story, a crime caper story, or the story of miracles in a regular life, then this is the book for you.  This book reads like poetry in places.

6. Anything by Ron Carlson

The man is a miracle!  I discovered Ron Carlson when I was in my first year of grad school.  The first book I read was The News of the World, but I went on to pick up his other titles, like At the Jim Bridger and  Plan B for the Middle Class, immediately after.  His short fiction inspires me more than any other writer.  His ability to capture "real" life in a way that highlights the drama present in our every day is second to none.  I finished his novel The Signal about a month ago.  While I still prefer his short fiction, he won me over with this novel about a couple taking their last backpacking trip into the Wyoming wilderness before they finally say goodbye and dissolve the relationship.  While it is a tale focusing on the relationship, there is gun play, a kidnapping, and action aplenty to keep people reading.  Pick him up today!!!

Are You Okay?

For weeks now I've been asked the same question.

"Are you okay?"

It's come from family, friends, and coworkers.  My answer has always been the same, "I'm fine."  It's not a lie, not a stretch of the truth either, but it is how I've been feeling.  I'm beginning to wonder if I know myself well enough to know if this is true or not.

Have you ever been convinced of something only to find out you were misguided?  Been so sure of a truth that turned out to be untrue?  This is where I've found myself.  I still feel okay, like everything is good, but I simply can't deny the sheer number of people who have stepped forward to check in with me.

From my mother to my wife, from friends of mine to co-workers, I've been engaged in a series of conversations that inquire into my well-being.  It's forcing me to examine myself in a way that I didn't expect.  With all I've been doing, all the directions I've been pushing myself, and all the responsibilities I feel, I have felt a little overloaded.  Creatively I've felt a bit stifled, even though my flash fiction piece is soon to be released by Echo Ink Review.   I received my contributor copies in the mail last week.

School is going good.  I'm making headway into the new business idea.  My daughter is happy, healthy, and experiencing all kinds of new growth and accomplishments.  My wife is well, although overworked in my personal opinion.  All of these things are true, but if I'm truly honest with myself, I'd have to say that all of it just makes me feel...gray.  Slate gray.  It reminds me of a poem by Richard Hugo that I loved when I was at the University of Montana.

Gray Stone

A gray stone does not change color wet
or dry. Baked on a scorched road or shaded
by cedars, underground or tossed
into a bright green sky, it's always gray.
It is the stone of earth, of the down-to-earth
no nonsense way of knowing life
does not often of its own volition provide.
A gray stone will not
change your luck or shorten the mortgage
or make you young again. It doesn't say
"now" to investments - money or love.
It doesn't say "no" when you plot wrong things
you are sure you must do with your life
or die from the drone. Keep one gray stone
in a secret place, and when those you love
are broken or gone, listen
with a sustained, with a horrible attention
to the nothing it has always had to say.

So as I consider myself in the coming days, I know I'll have to dig deeper and look for harder answers than mere surface platitudes or the standard, "I'm fine."  If those who love me see something I don't, then it's time I get to the bottom of it.

The Road to Finals

The last two weeks have been a flurry of grading and student conferences.  As such, I haven't been able to dedicate much time to the blog, but I will be redoubling my efforts in the coming weeks.

In the weeks leading up to the end of a term, a teacher's schedule gets quite hectic.  It's also the most exciting time of the term.  I have phone conferences, email conferences, office visits, etc.  Each of these meetings usually begins with the student asking questions about how they pass their class, what their grade is, or other things I can't blame them for being concerned about.

Then, the conversation turns to the writing.

When the conversation finally comes around to the purpose of the class, I get the chance to really see how far these students have come in the few short months they are in my care.  I've been so encouraged by the conversations I've had with this current batch of students.  They've really been paying attention and working hard.  I can see it in their drafts, in their understanding of what it is they are doing, and the types of hard questions they are asking about how to better develop their individual topics.

It's an exciting time of year.  It's a busy time of year, but you'll be hearing from me soon.