Personal Note: The Big Think

The last couple of days have found me in a personal pickle.  I've been presented with an opportunity to take my life in a new direction of sorts, or to at least pick one direction from amongst the many I'm working at any given time.  It's put me in an introspective space, a mindful insulated place where I don't know what my next move will be.

As such, I found myself feeling that old urge I get whenever I'm percolating a new idea/opportunity: the urge to drive!  After I got off work, I jumped in the truck and proceeded to drive around town.  I've always loved to drive, to take off and hit parts unknown, to drive on roads I'm unfamiliar with and get a little lost.  Although this time, I was drawn almost immediately to the McLoughlin Promenade.

In Oregon City, there is a 7+ acre linear park that runs along the ridge above downtown.  It's edged on one side by a sheer drop and on the other by businesses and historic homes.  It's a nice place to visit in the day, but it feels a bit dodgy at night.  I took the risk though.  For some reason, I needed to sit above downtown and gaze into the distance toward Portland.

It was a beautiful night.

The view from near the Oregon City elevator.

It was perfectly warm and spring was in the air.

Magnolia (?) tree near the elevator

I didn't necessarily come up with any great ideas, any real solutions to my dilemma, but I did find peace of mind and a spot for a quick ten minute meditation as I gazed out over the city lights of Portland twinkling in the distance.

It's important to take a moment to clear the mind before making any life-altering decisions.  A long drive, a meditative moment, or a good run are all good ways of centering oneself before committing to the fray.  I've made many a good decision as a result of these three techniques.  I'm hoping to keep using these techniques in the coming weeks as I begin to decide what it is I really want and how I am going to get there.

Life is a grand adventure, and these moments of decision, or real choice with real consequence, should be a reminder that it is so.  The fact that I find this decision so challenging is because it means I am invested in my life.  In many ways, that's all I've ever wanted.  It's the reason I write, the reason I read, the reason I love.  To quote some Yiddish from Fiddler on the Roof, "l'chaim." TO LIFE!

Pet Notes: Cat-astrophe 2014

Friends of ours are out of the country right now, and they've asked my mother-in-law to housesit/catsit their place while they are away.  My mother-in-law is great for this kind of thing.  You can't find a more responsible person than Betty.  She'll follow directions to the letter and she'll go above and beyond what people normally ask of her.  The directions didn't say anything about how to handle it if the cat decides to get itself stuck in a tree.

A couple of days ago, Betty let the cat out of the house as she's been instructed to do.  It didn't take long for her to notice the mewling coming from the large tree in the corner of the yard.  When she looked up, sure enough, Nutter Butter was perched about 50 feet up in the tree.  Betty and Shea called the cat for about an hour, trying to coax the animal from the tree, but to no avail.  The little thing wasn't taking the bait.

Betty and Shea pulled out the cat food, the treats, and everything they could think of to try and coax the poor thing down.  The family called around to the fire department (they don't do that kind of thing anymore), tree trimmers, and other animal rescue places, but they were greeted with a resounding, "We don't work on Sundays."  So, the cat was forced to spend what was probably a long, cold night perched up in the tree.  Tracy and I were unavailable, as were some of our other friends who Betty felt comfortable calling for help.  Nutter Butter couldn't have been pleased about this development.

We told Betty to leave the food out and maybe the cat would come down once it was hungry enough.  Apparently the cat had eaten a big dinner, for it didn't come down by this morning.  Betty called around to Tracy and I this morning for advice.  The animal rescue places had not returned her calls yet today.

Betty was meant to watch Shea while I finished my grading for the term and submitted grades.  As I had woken up early in the morning, I had completed grading one of my classes and decided to drive Shea over to Betty.

Before I left, knowing I wasn't going to leave the house without getting the cat down, I called my friend Pat who is an experienced tree trimmer for any advice in case he had run into a similar situation.  I was told to bring gloves, a towel, and a backpack.  If I could get close to the cat, I was to wrap it in a towel, put it in the backpack, and then descend the tree.  I was geared up and ready to go when I arrived at our friends' house.

I was lucky that our friends kept an extension ladder against the back of the house because the cat was UP THERE!  The poor little thing was breaking all of our hearts with her little mewling cries.  I braced the ladder up against the tree and began my ascent.

The intrepid tree-climber after his prey!

I sat on that ladder for about 30-40 minutes shaking a bag of cat treats while Nutter Butter slowly made his way down from branch to branch.  The poor thing trembled her way down from branch to branch, sometimes retreating back up the tree in pursuit of a better way to get down to me.  She mewled the whole time, exhausted, hungry, and thirsty, I'm sure.  After a couple of missteps and a couple of near disastrous moves, she finally came within arms reach.

I didn't want to snatch her up right away, so I fed her some of the cat treats from out of my hand.  She gobbled up the two handfuls I held out for her and was licking my hand free of the crumbs when I decided the moment was right.  Bracing myself against the tree, I reached over with my other hand (this is a big deal as I'm not a huge fan of heights and I'm now not holding on) and grabbed her by the neck.  Once, I had her securely in my grip, I held on with my other hand and went about heaving her up off her perch.

The cat did not want to come off that branch.  She dug her little claws in and didn't want to let go.  I was afraid that she would take a swing at me once I got her hands free, but once I pried her off the branch and had her resting against my side, she simply curled up there.  She didn't move or fight me at all once she felt she was secure against my side.  I need not have worried about the gloves and the backpack, for Nutter Butter seemed to understand what I was after.

I descended the ladder and got onto hard ground.  Nutter Butter squirmed in my grip a bit, wanting to get down on to the grass, but I wasn't about to let this cat loose in the yard again.  My mother-in-law had been too distraught about the poor cat's safety over the last night, so we marched back into the house as a triumphant team.

Shea bounced around me yelling, "Good job, Nutter Butter.  Good kitty!"

One exhausted kitty!

I don't know if house arrest is something that's ever been applied to a cat, but I have a feeling it is now.  To my traveling friends, Nutter Butter is safe, but she's not getting out again until you guys get home if Betty has anything to say about it.  Although, with the way she was acting, I don't think she'll be looking for a way out any time soon.

After my grandiose adventure, it was time to head back to grading.  One more stack of in-class essays and I was done for the term!  I think the adrenaline was a good thing though.  I've never been so alert as I read handwritten essays written by students!

Promise-ary Note: A New Fiction Piece and a New Promise

Even in the midst of finals week, I was able to pull off this week's promise.  I've been neck deep in essays, but flash fiction, much like poetry, doesn't have to have the long, enduring thought process of a novel project or one of my more typical short story length projects.  

I still had to come at the story three different times before it could be written though.  In fact, you may remember an earlier post about "writer's tools" some weeks back.  Inspiration was being being a stingy little minx this week with all the other concerns I had on my mind, so I had to turn to my writing notebook for some ideas.  A writer, or at least a writer who wants to make a lifestyle out of writing, doesn't have the luxury of waiting around for inspiration.  I can't simply sit there and while away an afternoon hoping that dirty seductress of Inspiration will strike.  Instead, I have to commit to an idea and charge ahead with the hopes that I will seduce Inspiration to follow me.

Inspiration is almost like the stereotype of the woman who loves bad boys.  She likes being chased, being sought after, being the object of the artist's desire, but if you really want a relationship with her, then you almost pay her no attention at all.  You simply march ahead with what you are doing and you'll soon find her at your elbow asking, "What are you doing?"  Or, in the midst of a juicy section, she'll suddenly appear and say, "Oooh, that's good, but what about?"  Sometimes paying no heed whatsoever to inspiration is the best way to be inspired.  It's kind of the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" method of calling down the muse.

So, I turned to my writer's notebook and found a note from years ago when my wife's coworker told us about Craigslist personals.  That was it.  That was the idea.  My prompt became, "Write a story about a guy waiting for his Craigslist personal ad hookup in a mutually anonymous location."  I was intrigued by the idea of the illicit hookup and what the mindset must be in the moments before falling into the arms of an anonymous stranger.  It's rough, but it exists on paper.  That's the hardest part for me.  Once it exists on paper, then I can play with the form, the sentences, the words, etc.  

Unlike Inspiration, Revision is a stable companion, a loving partner, and I can count on her to show up every time I sit with a page full of words.  Sometimes it is hard for me to quiet her down so I can focus, but we have a longstanding and loving relationship.

So, mission accomplished...promise fulfilled.

This week's promise is going to be a good one, and it comes just in time as I've cleared my schedule for some private time with my wife already.

While some of you may be saying, "Gross, Kyle, I don't want to know about that."  I'd like to state that intimacy is a big word and doesn't only translate to the bedroom.  There is emotional intimacy, intellectual intimacy, and physical intimacy.  They are all important, and I plan on trying to focus on all aspects of the word.  I'm excited to spend some quality time with my wife.  She's been killing it lately and I'm sure I haven't heard all she has to say about what's been going on with her.  I drew this last night, and while Tracy slept I hatched a couple of plans for this weekend.  It should be fun.

Brother Notes: Kerry's Leaving on a Jet Plane!

My brother Kerry recently got a promotion that is relocating him to Central Oregon.  While it is a mere three hours away, this is a big move for our family.  Everyone in our family has such a busy schedule already, and a three hour commute provides some specific challenges in terms of how often we are going to see him.  As such, I thought I would take a moment to describe some of my favorite Kerry moments.

1. His Dancing:

If you have never had the opportunity to see my brother dance, then you are missing out on one of the most fundamentally joyful experiences life has to offer.  For a while there was even a dance named after him.  It was called "The Bear," and anyone who knew Kerry from high school until know is probably familiar with it.  Put your hands side by side out in front of you, but still above your head, and move them in small circles while convulsing your butt like you're having a seizure.  This is the move.  That's it.  End of moves.

My brother and my sister-in-law at their wedding.  Breaking it DOWN!

While the photo isn't an exact replica of "The Bear," it gives you a fairly close approximation.  When my brother dances, I can't help but feel that all is well in the world.

2. His Intensity:

To experience my brother's intensity, all one needs to do is attend a sporting event with him.  If said sporting event could feature the Oregon Ducks or the Boston Red Sox, then you are almost assured of seeing what I'm about to describe.

My brother is the one in the front and center.  Creepy eyes! Photo courtesy of Robin Miller

My brother loves his teams so much that he lives vicariously through them.  Their successes are his, and their losses are also his.  When a good play goes down and my brother starts slapping together those giant ham hocks for hands he's got, then you are sure to experience the thundering echo that serves as his round of applause.  Beware!  You don't want to be too near him when this phenomenon occurs for you might experience the telltale ringing in your ears that represents hearing loss.

The ham hocks in motion.  Photo courtesy of Amanda Rice.

To say my brother wears his heart on his sleeve is an understatement.  His passion for his sports teams cannot be contained, and this is, mostly, simply a symptom of how he lives his life more broadly.  My brother is a wunderkind of intensity.  He works hard, he plays hard, he loves hard, and his is one of the most intensely loyal people you will ever meet.

Kerry and Amy at Fenway Park.  Photo courtesy of Amy Lang.

It is one of his most endearing qualities.  If you don't want a friend for life, then don't make friends with my brother.  He's not a fickle man.  He's an in-it-to-win-it kind of guy, an all-in type of player, and even if he loses here and there on the gamble of a new friend, he's always willing to turn around and do it again.  That level of belief in the fundamental goodness of others is something we could all emulate a little bit.  My brother shoots straight, tells it like it is, and assumes that others will do the same for him.  For some, it is a little bit too intense, for others, it's just right, and they can immediately see the value in having someone like Kerry in their lives.

3. His Sense of Humor:

This portion of the post is best represented through pictures:

Kerry as Beyonce ala "Single Ladies"? Photo courtesy of Robin Miller.

Big kid failing his "sexy chair" test.

About a second away from a spit take! Photo courtesy of Kent Hawes.

3D Nerds at Home. Photo courtesy of Robin Miller.

4. His Calming Influence on Me

My brother, even when he is picking on me, is a calming effect in my life.  He reminds me of who I am, where I come from, and how I'll always have an ally in any fight I'm passionate enough to join.  Even when I haven't seen him for a long time (which happens more than I like to admit), we usually fall back into our same old patterns pretty quickly, and there is a deep and soulful peace that comes from that.

My brother has a bad habit of sticking his finger toward my eye and waggling it around with the required, "I'm not touching you."  He does more often than is probably appropriate for a middle-aged man (yes, Kerry, it's true), and although I roll my eyes and sigh with frustration at him, I know that this simple gesture is a loving one.  It may be that the gesture is loving because he "loves" to get a rise out of me, but that's only because it is nice to get your loved ones riled up.  It's nice to know that you still have an effect on them, even as I approach his current middle-aged status (Not there yet!).

I'm going to miss my brother, even in this day of constant electronic contact.  A finger-waggling "I'm not touching you" over Skype just isn't the same thing.  While I love Central Oregon and will work hard to get over there as much as possible, there will be an absence in the valley now that he's taking his thunderous clapping ham hocks over the Cascades.

I'll miss you, Kerry, but I'll see you soon.

Nerd Notes: Why I Can't Wait for "Guardians of the Galaxy"

On August 1st of this year, Marvel Studios will release the film Guardians of the Galaxy.  This excites me.  While I know collective American culture is probably groaning at the idea of a new "superhero" flick, I don't think that is what Guardians is getting set to offer up.  I think many people will be surprised at how "non-superhero-y" this film is going to play.  This film is setting itself up to be more of a space opera in the vein of Star Wars more so than a costumed do-gooder flick in the vein of Man of Steel.

There are many reasons this movie will do well and causes me to rewatch the trailer over and over again.  I'll try to lay them out below.

1. If Guardians of the Galaxy does well at the box office, then the floodgates could potentially be thrown open to the cinematic inclusion of lesser known properties within the Marvel/DC universes.  Even more exciting than that is the idea that even independent comic book properties will get an eyeball from studios.  Marvel and DC aren't the only companies who produce comics, and the idea that a lesser known property like Guardians could achieve box office success gives a chance to properties like...

SAGA!

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FABLES! (Although technically published under an imprint of DC)

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THE UNDERWATER WELDER!

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Or even, X-Factor, a lesser known brand in the X-men family.

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2. The success of Guardians might also make audiences realize that comics are just as diverse as "traditional" novels and other forms of publication.  There is nonfiction, fiction, sci-fi, fantasy, adult fiction, children's comics, etc.  The potential for the medium of comics to tell stories is unlimited.  So, when I see a comic book property have the chance to have real success on the big screen, I get a little excited that comics might come out with a couple of new fans.

For those of you who are skeptical about the potential of comics to tell real and gritty stories that even adults can love, there have already been several successful adaptations of comic books/graphic novels that many people don't realize were based on comics source material.  Let me provide you with a few quick examples.

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3. For a new generation of kids, it will inspire them to create new and novel science fiction.  I remember being a child and loving the Star Wars films.  This lead to Star Trek: The Next Generation, which, in turn, led to comics, which led to Phillip K. Dick, Ray Bradbury, Neal Stephenson, Paolo Bacigalupi, and many, many other sources of fantastic narrative sci-fi.

We live in a world where real concrete science is absolutely stimulated by science fiction, so it goes without saying that we should be getting some good entertaining science fiction in front of our tweens and teens.  There's no telling where it could lead them.

Some may argue that it will lead them to their parents' basement collecting rare statuettes and limited edition comic book covers while they argue the merits of Klingon grammar, but I see the potential in science fiction to inspire creative scientific minds to think beyond the boundaries of what is possible.  A film like Guardians of the Galaxy has that potential, even if it comes in a glossy package that makes us wonder if it is really good for us.

In the end, I can only say...come ON, pictures like the ones below are cool!

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There's my two cents on the issue.  I hope to see you all at the movies.

Father Notes: Getting Kids to Eat

I've just got done having "the" encounter with my daughter.  She didn't eat her dinner last night, choosing instead to go to bed early.  I was at the restaurant working, so I had no idea any of this was happening until I got done with work and checked my phone.  My wife had sent me a text to give me the heads up about what my morning would look like.  These are never fun.

My wife giving me a heads up.

While we almost never have to do it, we've had a couple of encounters with Shea refusing a meal.  The rule in our house is: if you don't eat it for dinner, you get it for breakfast.  If you don't eat it for breakfast, you get it for lunch.  You can see the trend here.

I was ready for the morning, even waking up a couple of minutes early in order to get the day started.  I figured there would be some initial resistance, but Shea usually caves once she realizes I'm serious about holding true to my promise.

Today was a bit different.  Shea was bargaining, playing the "I'm going to throw up" card, and even having an emotional breakdown at the table.  It was a mess.

Let me give you a bit of background on the situation first though.  Shea asked her mother to make the soup.  It wasn't that Tracy and I had cooked up liver and onions and were forcing her to eat it.  In that situation, she is required to take three bites and then she doesn't have to eat any more.  This situation was a bit different, so the rules are different.  We tell Shea that if she asks for something, then she has to eat it.  She doesn't have to finish it, for we are not "clean plate" parents, but she has to give a valiant attempt at eating whatever she has requested.  This is the reason we are being firm with her.  She asked for the soup.  Tracy made the soup FOR HER.  To turn her nose up at it once it has materialized is something we don't think is okay at our house.

So, it's 7:30 in the morning and Shea is sitting in front of her Broccoli Cheese soup.  She's cried, she's bargained, and she's threatened to get sick on the floor.  I'm standing firm.  At one point, Shea says, "It just smells so bad."

"OK," I say, "Plug your nose and eat."

"I can't do both," she says, trying to plug her nose with one hand while giving a halfhearted effort to scoop soup from the bowl.

"Here you go," I say, producing a small plastic clip from a kitchen utility drawer.  "Use this."  The girl actually put the clip on her nose.  I couldn't help myself, so I snapped a quick picture.

Nose Clip Soup

It didn't work as well as she hoped, but she got a good five bites in before I let her off the hook.  She's a good girl, but sometimes you simply have to put your foot down and make sure they understand that the rules are there for a reason, that you are not willing to compromise on everything, and that they won't be able to negotiate themselves out of things they've gotten themselves into.

In the end, it is "just soup."  I know this, but at the same time, we need to have some kind of principles that we enforce in our house, and I don't think this one is an unreasonable one.  If you ask for something to eat, you eat it.  Seems pretty cut and dried to me, but it begins to feel ridiculous when the child is in the middle of a tantrum and you can feel your blood boiling.  At that point, it isn't about soup.  It is about parenting and principle.  My daughter wanted to get away with something, and Tracy and I weren't letting her.  Sorry, sweetheart.  Not today.

Shea's a wonderful girl, and I have no doubt that she'll be back to her perky self by the time school is in session, but it was a challenging morning.  We'll have a better afternoon as I've arranged some time for Shea to hang out with both my mother and me this afternoon.  Fingers crossed for a good attitude.  I'm hoping to see a girl who looks more like this:

Birthday Party Face Paint

Husband Notes: One Proud Spouse

In a marriage, it is easy to begin to assume certain things about your spouse.  After you've been together for a decade, you think you know the person better than they know themselves.  I was recently proved wrong in this regard, and I found myself swelling with pride at the person I thought I knew.

Don't get me wrong, my wife is amazing.  There is no doubt about that.  What surprised me though was a recent situation she had at work.  It's not my place to go into the details of the situation, but I can tell you this.  Tracy got the job done!!!

Tracy's work made a decision she didn't agree with. She took the risk and explained her point of view to the big bosses and they sided with her.  What surprised me is this: my wife isn't one for confrontation.  She isn't one to buck rank and go against the higher ups.  She believes in hard work and she'll put her head down and get the job done if they ask her to do so.  This time she surprised us all and stood up for what she believed to be a better corporate decision.

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And that's where my lovely wife won the day.

She went to the big bosses with perfectly logical and well-reasoned explanations for why they should reverse their course of action.  She framed her point of view in terms of the company's bottom line and operational capacities, and the big bosses backed her up all the way.  Not only did they side with her decision, but they took extra action that eased the workload on my wife.

She did all of this while remaining calm, focused, and determined.  She amazes me, and I'm proud to call her my wife.  I know my wife, but there are still moments where she catches me off guard and shows me that she's still got some tricks up her sleeve.  She's still got that feminine mystery that keeps me coming back for more.

When she's all strong and confident like this?  Well, that girl is HOT!