Monday

My daughter is lying in my lap, feeding, my dog is at my feet, sleeping, and I am thinking about the page. It's been a couple of days since I have written. I am filling the hopper by getting some of my reading done but tonight is homework night and I'm pumped to hit the page running. I will be formulating all day about what I want to write and then, when the time comes and I sit down at my computer, I will probably write something completely different than what I expected.

I'm curious to see if my packet will come in the mail today. That would be a nice treat, to be able to sit down and read through the packet before I sit down and begin a new project. I'm really curious to see what kind of response I get on the creative work I sent out this packet. It is the rawest piece of material I have ever sent out to an advisor. I "finished" the story 12 hours before I sent it off. SCARY! My normal routine is to do a revision, a line edit, a revision, a line edit and another revision before I even consider sending it out to an instructor.

Oh well, life is full of risks.

What's funny is that a month or so ago I was told that I wasn't a risk taker. It bothered me. I'll be honest it really bothered me. I felt that I had taken many risks, especially over the last year, and to have someone tell me that I didn't really set me back on my heels. This is what I've come up with in reaction.

I am a risk taker. The person who told me that I wasn't didn't know me well enough to understand what risks I was taking. She wanted me to take her risks. She wanted to see me make the decisions she wanted to make and she thought that because they were dangerous or risky to her that they were to me. This situation directly pertained to a story I wrote. She wanted big action, big drama to be a part of the story and what I really wanted out of the piece, what I really wanted the story to accomplish was opposite of that response. It is easy to write high drama. It is hard, and risky, to write the quiet dramas that face us every day. It is hard to expose the truth of the daily insecurities of daily life.

I think I'm done with thinking about that comment now. It's bounced around for a little bit and now I think I can finally put it to rest because this blog post has enabled me to put some ideas together.

Ahhhhhh, Monday.