I've been worthless all day. I didn't do a single thing at work but surf the Internet and somewhere around two the anxiety settled in on me. My discontent with my current employment can't escalate any further can it? I'm completely detached from any sense of investment in the job and I'm failing in the most basic tasks appointed to me. Now, don't get me wrong, I have the appearance of productivity but it is superficial, exists only on the surface and I wonder why I don't get any results. I feel myself to be a mask of a person, a hollow representation of an active member of society.
I spent the day pondering story ideas and playing word games on the Internet and I find myself unable to turn away from words. My mind is spinning over stories and themes, my essay topic and how to "go deeper" but it seems that I cannot keep myself engaged in the mundane details of living daily. I'm beginning to worry for my longevity in my current employment and it is something I need to consider as I have family obligations to attend to. Tomorrow is another day and I hope that my resolution will be stronger.
No comments:
Post a Comment