A Well-Timed Beer

Last night I had the chance to hang out with a friend at the pub.  It'd been a long time since we'd hung out and there were a lot of new developments to talk about: a new relationship, a school term coming to a close, and the various dramas that unfold in the living of a life.  I got a chance to talk to someone outside my regular company and I found myself talking about things I normally don't talk about.  I found myself sharing a part of myself that I don't normally share with people.

It made me realize how closed off I am from the company of others.  I have a lot of conversations, but not like this.  This was different.  I found myself unclenching a bit.  My friend, AK, sits on the fringes of my life, connected to me and me alone in terms of my regular cast of characters.  He's not embroiled in the daily, or even weekly, goings-on in my life.  When this happens, you are forced to give a broader context to your stories.  You're forced to give the bigger picture.

For example, when you pick up an X-men comic book, there are decades of history that back up that story, but due to the fact they assume people are ongoing readers, they don't rehash all of the context/history that has come before.  But, every now and then, they relaunch a line and they tend to give a generalized history that will bring new readers deeper into the fold and give a sense of who these characters are and what they've gone through in their lives.

It was much the same way last night.  I was telling stories about the last couple of months, but I found myself filling in the blanks from years past.  I had to see my life in the broader tapestry of the larger life than the minuscule dramas that unfold in a day/week/month.  This perspective led me to realize things about my life that I hadn't considered before.  It was the equivalent of removing horse blinders.  Instead of seeing only the immediate situation, I was forced to place it in the larger context of ongoing relationships, larger themes, grander scope.

What did I realize?  What grew out of this conversation?  Well, it gave me insight into my current situation and made me realize that there are certain things that are being repeated, certain mistakes being made over and over again, and conversations that are still not being had.  Sometimes it takes the insight of someone not sitting inside the situation to bring clarity.  It makes me realize that I need that larger network of friends.  I need to make time for them.  I need to share with them, have them share with me, and reconnect with the larger tapestry that is my life both in terms of the people who occupy it and the way I live it.