Bar Notes: Mister Disgruntled

Last night I had a run-in with one of the types of people that servers and bartenders dread across the board: the perpetually disgruntled patron.  It was a solid night, nothing too busy, but not dead either.  The restaurant received a call that a party of 12 would be arriving in 10 minutes, so we set to work pushing tables together and getting prepared for their arrival.

There was another large party of 10 or so in the restaurant celebrating the end of their fantasy football season.  They were mostly drinking, but it took a good bit of attention to make sure they had what they needed when the new party arrived.

This isn't last night's group, but the size and scope of the party was similar.

After the hostess took the initial drink order, I brought the drinks out to the table and greeted the 12 newcomers.  When I dropped their drinks at the table, I informed them of the dinner special and asked if they were going to be a single tab or separate tabs.  They told me that they would have 9 individual tabs across the 12 people dining.  Great!  I love having this information in advance.  I can do so much with this information as long as I have the heads up.

I set about taking their order, making careful notes as to their drinks so I could split the tab at the time they ordered.  I got through 11 of the 12 people when I ran into Mr. Disgruntled himself.  He was the last to order, and when I got to him I was greeted with this, "I'm going to be very specific, so I think you should write this down."  I already had my pad and pen in hand, so I nodded politely and took his order.  He ordered a hamburger (easy enough) but was specific about condiments and garnish (easy enough).  As I repeated the order back to him, he nodded, made one small correction, and then said, "If you don't get it right, I'm not afraid to send it back."

Awesome!

I could tell by the man's attitude that he was going to be a lovely customer.

I proceeded to flawlessly ring in every order, split the check nine ways, assign the proper drinks to the proper tabs, and continue to provide them with drink refills while managing my other large party and the other tables in the restaurant.

About 15 minutes later, dinner was served.  All 12 people were served at once with food hitting the table while it was still steaming.  The hostess helped me run the food, but it was difficult as people had moved from their original seats to converse.  We were auctioning off the plates (calling out the order to get peoples' attention) and dropping them at the appropriate spots.  In the hustle and bustle of it all, my hostess dropped a burger with cheese and bacon in front of Mr. Disgruntled.  While I still had food in my hands, I turned to see him throw his hands in the air like it was a stick-up.

"I didn't order cheese and bacon," he said, looking around the table. "I didn't order cheese and bacon."  His voice raised with every repetition.  The hostess looked at me aghast for a moment, wondering what to do.  I told him, "I'll be right there, sir."  I dropped off the two remaining plates in my hand, swooped over to his side, and removed the offending burger.  I returned to the kitchen to check the ticket to make sure I had rang it properly.  I had.  The cooks, in the confusion of multiple tables with one large party, had simply placed the wrong burger patty onto the wrong plate.  I returned to the table with another armload of food to be greeted with Mr. Disgruntled again.

"People tell me I'm too specific, but, obviously, I'm not specific enough since no one can ever get my order right."  I'm practically standing next to him as he continues to rant to his table mates.  "They say I over-explain, but I can't tell you how many times this happens to me."

I admit.  I hit red.  I have a thing about common courtesy and the place of empathy in a society.  The way this gentleman was carrying himself was entirely disrespectful.  I'm sorry, but just because I'm a server, doesn't mean that you have the right to address the situation, and my part in it, like I wasn't there.  I was ANGRY!  The last thing I heard was, "I thought I explained it perfectly."

When I returned to the kitchen, his burger was already in the window.  It was cooked exactly as he had specified, garnished correctly, and still steaming off the grill.  I grabbed the plate, turned, dropped it in front of him, and said, "Here's your perfectly explained burger, sir.  Enjoy your meal."

The comment caught the man unawares, as well as the speed with which the order was corrected.  The woman sitting across from him met my eyes and gave me that pinched "sorry-about-him" kind of look, and I was off to serve my other tables.

It wasn't my finest customer service moment, but it got the point across to that guy. As I walked away, I heard on of his friends exclaim, "See!  Kyle fixed it!"  I had introduced myself to the table earlier.  The guy devoured his perfectly explained burger and fries without further complaint.  In fact, I returned later to refill his fries and drink and the man was singing a new tune.

By the time the group left that night, the man shook my hand, thanked me for accommodating his group (he was the one who called ahead), tipped me almost 30%, and made sure to say he would come back again in the future.

Sometimes we go into a situation thinking things are going to be one way when they are actually going to be another.  This goes for that man and for me.  He came into the situation thinking he was going to be disappointed by his experience, and it almost made it come true.  I quickly followed suit and thought this guy was going to be an asshole and never redeem himself.  Both of us were wrong.  There were a couple of bumps along the way, but we inevitably found our way to having a mutually positive experience.

In both our cases, we needed to get past ourselves and simply focus on the other person.  He didn't understand the work involved in serving a party of his size with separate tickets and other restaurant concerns, and I didn't think about the fact that he might have had some really negative restaurant experiences that jaded him.  In the end, we both proved our first impressions wrong.  I guess we just need to keep our minds open to the experience and let it all shake loose as it will.

Sometimes even our negative experiences wind up doing something positive for us.