Anne Lamott wrote an essay called "Shitty First Drafts" and it's fabulous. Since I discovered it I've taught it in every class I teach. It's one of the first essays I assign. I find students latch on to the profanity of the title and then really enjoy the humor of the piece. What I don't tell them is that I read it over and over again because it brings me great comfort. The idea that I don't have to write something that is perfect, or even whole, is liberating. I forget this at times. I'm not saying that I think my first drafts are either perfect or whole, but what I do trick myself into believing sometimes is that they SHOULD BE.
This is an inspiration killer. This is the silent brain assassin that lives in my office. That "should be" sneaks up on me when I am in the middle of something and finds a comma splice, an inaccurate word, or a stale, cliched image. In the past I've often had conversations with my mother about that phrase. "You should..." is one of my least favorite things to hear. Whenever someone tells me what I should or should not be doing, it's them trying to control and dominate me. Well, I do it to myself sometimes too. I try to control and dominate my own inspiration, my own creativity, and it does not bear fruit.
So, I teach Anne Lamott and I keep writing shitty first drafts. It's liberating. And so I head into the classroom today to tell students that they "should" relax and write shitty first drafts.
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